Saw-bone spectacular

Another week, another gig, in another distant part of town. I now know how John Otway must feel. This time it was a double bill in celebration of John Peel Day, in a small venue (who's name escapes me) in Kilburn. I had to get there first. Driving in London is a peculiarly unpleasant experience, even on sundays, and this was no different. I trusted to the online AA routefinder to get me safely and swiftly to my destination, and as on countless previous occasions the yellow-clad twats let me down. We actually managed to get lost less than one mile from my house, a new low.

Anyway, having battled through all that Central London could throw at us we finally arrived at the bash late, hot, tired and flustered - but luckily just in time to see the first act, acoustic master Yakbone. Mellow guitar vibes were soon soothing our cares away while we were dazzled by a psychedelic backdrop; I sat back, relaxed and drifted into a multicoloured world of sonic mindscapes while watching the fastest fingers in the west at work. You can take a suck on Yakbone's sauce-bottle of song here.

After a few drinks, the next turn took to the stage - Mara Carlyle. Playing what can only be described as a midget's guitar. This takes considerable gumption. It turns out this is what's known as a ukelele. I had no idea. Something that the Minipops version of John Denver would have wielded, should such a monstrous creation have ever seen the light of day.

I will hold my hands up and admit that folksy ballads are not my cup of tea, but I have to say that Mara has a great voice and I did enjoy her dreamy songs. But not content with the micro-guitar, Carlyle then introduced her tour de force - she also plays the saw. The mechanics of this are mind-bending. Straddling the chair at an oblique angle, the saw is gripped firmly between the thighs and rubbed with a violin bow, with the metal twisted and bent to alter pitch.

Having done some research, its not surprising that saw-playing is a largely female pursuit.

You know how in 50s B-movies, when martians land in Kansas, the flying saucers make a sort of 'woooo-OOOO-oooo' sound? Well that's what Mara's saw sounds like. She must be handy to have around if you're putting up shelves, or laying parquet flooring. Anyway, having entertained us and presumably avoided serious genital mutilation, she wrapped things up with some more ukelele fun before sweeping away to acclaim. Have a listen to Mara's saw song here.


Celebrity spots
Just one to report. And frankly, its weak. Nigel Farrell from TV reality show A Place in France in the pub next door. A quiet week.

Recommendations:
Ignominious defeat for England and a spectacular own goal, sponsored by Borat. It can't get any worse. But England are still, miraculously, 6-1 second favourites to win Euro 2008. Don't ask me ... you've more chance of a return backing Cyprus, to be honest (5,000-1, PremierBet). Portugal at 20-1 (Ladbrokes) seems to be the wisest investment.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry seems to have a blog these days. Tiresome most undoubtedly are (see above) - now read the words of the master. Morrissey enters the fray here.
Stalingrad by Anthony Beevor - one of the top scraps in history.